Big Mac...Hold The Pickle

Introducing the new BMHTP logo!!!

2007-07-06T22:20:00.000-05:00

Ok so I finally got bored with that crappy logo I had at the top of the page. If you liked it that much, you can still see it here. A friend of mine was supposed to make me a new logo, but he's never gotten around to it. (Yes that's a stab at you Tim, where's my f'in pickle?) Anyways my Uni Watch membership card is made. Made but not mailed. But Paul Lukas was good enough to post them all on his website so here's mine.

You can sign up for a membership by clicking on my card. Go do it now!

I'll have to settle for a Uni Watch membership

2007-07-03T22:20:00.000-05:00

Ok so the NAIA National Championship didn't quite work out. We played poorly and went two and out. Things are rocky here in TN (no pun intended). So I thought I'd cheer myself up and post an article that was printed in the local paper shortly after I graduated. This was printed in the Windsor Standard on June 25, 2003. Seriously, apparently I used to be good at sports or something. At least that's what page 1 and page 2 say. Or should I say page 9 and page 15. I didn't notice it until today, that the article was printed on page 9. Kinda cool that it was a shout out to my jersey number. One that I still wear today.

So as bored as I was today, I signed up for a
membership today. I'm claiming the number 9 as my own, with a circa 1990 NY Mets treatment to it. As soon as I get my membership card I'll scan it and put it up on here. Get a Uni Watch membership now and be the coolest kid on your block!

CU Bulldogs

2007-05-22T22:20:00.000-05:00

Wow, I definitely don't ever write on here anymore! I really need to start writing on here at least once a week to please all my adoring fans. (yeah right) So since my last post, Peyton Manning has gotten the monkey off his back, the NBA (Notoriously Bad bAsketball) has gone through an entire season, and is now in the playoffs, and the MLB has started another season. The Mets are once again in first place, with the number 2 record in all of baseball, and the Cumberland Bulldogs are once again making a trip to the NAIA Avista World Series. For those of you that didn't know, I happen to play for the Bulldogs, one of the best, if not the best, small college baseball program in the nation. I had surgery last summer, and spent the entire fall season rehabbing. By spring I was ready to go, but only saw limited action. I'm only a sophomore, so I wasn't expecting a ton of innings, and I didn't get them. I threw 4 innings, gave up 2 hits, both infield singles, 1 K, 1 Int. BB, and had a 0.00 ERA. Enough about me and onto the team. We finished 42-17-1 and were the 11th ranked team in the NAIA. We were the 2007 TranSouth Conference champions, the 2007 NAIA Region XI champions, and the 2007 NAIA South Central Super Regional champions. All's left now is the 2007 NAIA World Series starting this Friday. That's enough for now, hopefully I'll be bragging the first week of June, while I'm wearing a National Championship ring.

MLB Post Season

2006-11-06T22:20:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since my last post. Looking back, it's been a real busy fall. I've had schoolwork of my own (I'm an English Major, tons of papers), not to mention the fact that I play baseball for a (I know it's not an acceptable term) former Marine. Anywho, at the time of my last blog entry, the Mets were up 13.5 games, and looking great. Unfortunately Murphy hit the Mets real hard. Well that and I think Carlos is STILL watching that curveball. About the only good thing I can say about the MLB playoffs, is that at least a National League team won. I'm so sick of sports writers calling the NL, AAAA. It may seem real easy to pick on a league that doesn't use the Spawn of Satan in their rules (the DH for those of you who don't know me). However, the Cards, and yes I know they beat my beloved Mets, well...the Cards shoved it to the "superior" league. I'm sure I'd have more to say about the playoffs, but every time I start to talk about it, I keep kicking myself for saying that Floyd was gonna pull a Gibby, and then HE TOOK A FRIGGEN CALLED THIRD STRIKE!!!! ARGGGGGHHHHH!!!

Moving on. The football season is halfway through. My team, the only true NY team, is 3-5, and looking absolutely terrible. They barely beat the floundering Packers this past Sunday, and look like they might win another 3 games in the second half. If they don't beat the Flaming Thumbtacks in week 16 during the "battle of who could care less" I will be ashamed, and might have to resort to suiting up and volunteering to take a few sacks at QB so Losman can get some rest on the sideline. I've said this for years, the Bills are cursed. How management can push out four of the biggest players in Buffalo history, just a few years after they lead you to FOUR FRIGGEN STRAIGHT SUPER BOWLS, is beyond me. The football gods are angered with the Bills front office. Kelly, Thomas, Reed, Smith, all pushed out before they should have gone. Remember 1999, the big playoff game against the above mentioned Flaming Thumbtacks. That was a curse. The football gods blinded the referee, would not allow them to see that the ball CLEARLY WENT FORWARDS. Karma, Bills, Karma. Not to mention the fact that they hired a coach with the last name Mularkey. What the heck? Didn't they know what the word malarkey means? I mean Mularkey, malarkey, close efriggenough. Thankfully the Mularkey era didn't last long. According to Man Law, I am allowed to refer to this year as a "rebuilding year", my big question is, how many rebuilding years are you allowed in a row?

In unrelated football news, it doesn't matter if it's August, or if it's November, apparently there is some ESPN mandate, that TO must be talked about. Yesterdays IDIOTIC touchdown celebration, and ensuing blowup towards Parcells, I dunno...what can you say about it? I hate TO.

About the only thing that I hate worse than TO (well and the Yankees) is NBA basketball. They've changed a few things about the NBA this year, most notably, the ball. I say why stop there? Everyone knows that the NBA is all one on one. I say put five different hoops on each baseline, and throw out five of those new sternballs, and let them go at it. Ok so maybe that's a bit extreme, but could they at least call a travel once in a while?

I've rambled enough. I'll leave you with a fact you should know by now. My logic is incomparable

Why the F would you trade Scot Kazmir?

2006-08-23T22:20:00.000-05:00

So I was originally going to talk about how much I hate T.O., but I've decided that enough people are talking about him, and I'm sick of it. Instead I'm going to talk about the NY Mets, who at this time are 13.5 games up on the Phils, rolling on a 5 game winning streak, and are 76-48 for the season. So, I used to work for the Binghamton Mets, the parent clubs AA ballclub in upstate NY. I walked into the ball park on July 30th 2004 and heard that the future of the Mets had been traded. NY obviously didn't trade Reyes, or Wright, instead they traded Scott Kazmir away for Victor Zambrano. At the time Kazmir was a 20 year old flame thrower from Houston, Texas without any major league experience. Zambrano on the other hand, was a struggling major leaguer. While Kazmir was hitting 95+ on the radar gun, Zambrano's only "impressive" statistics, were that he led the league in wild pitches, walks and hit batsmen in 2003. While only months earlier, the Mets had declared Kazmir "untouchable", after the trade, they decided they needed to make excuses to legitimize the trade. They stated that he wouldn't be ready for the Big Show for a few more years, and that he was susceptible to injuries because of his motion. They also said he had attitude problems. While working with the B-Mets, I got to meet Kazmir, and several other players. All were friendly and always willing to talk to anyone. So enough about his so called "attitude." Let's get back to the statistical aspect. When Zambrano was traded from the D-Rays to the Mets, he lead the AL in walks. At the end of the season, he was still the AL leader in walks despite being in the NL for the last TWO MONTHS OF THE SEASON! Since the trade, Zambrano has appeared in 34 games for the Mets, going 1-2 in 21 1/3 innings this year before having a season ending injury on May 5th. Kazmir, on the other hand, has appeared in 64 games for the D-Rays, going 22-20. You may say that 22-20 isn't that great of a record, but remember who Kaz is playing for. The D-Rays are 51-75 and are...wait did I read that right...25 games out of first place. What would Kazmir's record be if he were playing for a team that is 25 wins better than the one he's on? Not only that but how good would the Mets be? I know it's a lot of what if's. But all I have to say to the management in 2004 is wtf were you thinking?

Why I'm cooler than Skip Bayless

2006-08-14T22:20:00.000-05:00

Skip Bayless is an idiot.

No, not just an idiot, it needs a strong adjective. Skip Bayless is an F*ING idiot. If you don't know who Skip Bayless is he can be seen Monday through Friday on "Cold Pizza," ESPN2's morning show, and at 4 p.m. ET on ESPN's "1st & 10." His column appears twice a week on Page 2. You can e-mail Skip here. So why do I think Skip Bayless is an F*ING idiot? Well he wrote this article. I read it and got so pissed off, I sent him an e-mail. This is what I sent him.

You're an f*ing idiot. How many thousands, that's right, THOUSANDS of college kids played well enough during their freshman years of college to play in the NFL and never ended up like this shmuck Clarett? Off the bat I can name one, from the same year as Clarett. His name's Mike Williams, you might remember him. He played at USC, and *gasps* he declaired for the draft in 2004 as an UNDERCLASSMAN. Last time I checked, Williams wasn't facing a 26 year jail term. The last time I saw Mike Williams, he was wearing #88 playing for the Detroit Lions *gasps* wait he was in the NFL? Shocking what a work ethic will do for you. Sure Clarett was great as a freshman, but comparing a 19 year old college kid to Jim Brown, have you lost your mind? The NFL denying him entry to the draft wasn't what started Clarett's legal troubles. The following is a line from a Sep. 4, 2003 article that ran on ESPN.com. "...Clarett was suspended for multiple games because he misled investigators -- a violation of NCAA Bylaw 10, which governs ethical behavior for student-athletes. Geiger said Clarett also violated Bylaw 12, which deals with amateurism, 'improper benefits and all those kind of things.'" You say that Ohio State wanted nothing to do with him because they had their national championship, and that's all they needed. So what about Oklahoma. They want a national championship too, don't they? So are you saying that they were wrong to dismiss Rhett Bomar? Wasn't OK many of your colleagues preseason #1? They got rid of their star QB because of a similar situation to the one OH St. faced. Sounds more like Clarett got treated rather fairly to me. As for his legal troubles, point the finger at him, not the NFL.

______________________________________________________________

Not only is Skip Bayless an idiot, but he has unreliable e-mail. Mine won't go through. Maybe he has a spam filter that sends all the e-mails that say "you're an f*ing idiot" right to his spam folder. I bet that folder is so overloaded, it can't accept anymore e-mails. My logic is incomparable.

Post Numero Uno

2006-08-08T22:20:00.000-05:00

Alright sports fans, as if you didn't have enough sports websites to choose from, I thought I'd give you one more. My name is Jeremiah McElwain (pronounced Macklwayne). As far as I know, I'm no relation to Jason McElwain, but hey you never know. I'm also not affiliated in any way with McElwain Baptist Church in Alabama. So now you ask where does my blog name come from. It's a double entendre. First off, that's how I like my Big Mac's, - the pickles. There is a second meaning however. Big Mac was my nickname in 7th grade. I was 5' 10' 160 lbs. The fact that I'm not a whole lot bigger than that now is besides the point. Now you may ask where does the Hold The Pickle part come from. If you're a true sports fan, you know all about
While I enjoy reading the Sports Pickle, it's just a touch too satirical for me. So here I am. To offer you sports opinion, humor, and analysis, all while holding my...er...the pickle.